


My Window is Always Open

by MysteriousMidnight



Series: Dear Evan Hansen One Shots [3]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: But mostly fluff, Dysphoria, Fluff, Little bit of angst, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, Soft Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Trans Jared Kleinman, kleinphy, mentions of dysphoria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24816715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysteriousMidnight/pseuds/MysteriousMidnight
Summary: Jared crawls through Connor's window at 3am, seeking comfort after having a very bad night. That's it, that's the plot. It's really just Connor and Jared being adorable and loving and fluffy and SO MUCH FLUFF.
Relationships: Jared Kleinman/Connor Murphy
Series: Dear Evan Hansen One Shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757371
Comments: 10
Kudos: 47





	My Window is Always Open

**Author's Note:**

> This was an anonymous one-shot request from a user on Tumblr. 
> 
> Please note: I'm not trans, but I worked with two sensitivity readers to ensure I didn't make a mess of this. So thank you to Rowan and @starz-in-our-eyes on Tumblr for being amazing and helping me make this piece as accurate and well-written as possible!

Connor was a light sleeper. The smallest thing would wake him. He hated being too hot but he also hated being too cold. He liked a lot of blankets, but if they got tangled in his long limbs, he’d start to feel claustrophobic and kick them all off.

Most of the time, he really didn’t sleep. His insomnia kept him up until all hours of the night all on its own. The other things became like thorns in his sides, ensuring his insomnia won.

So it was no surprise that he was awake at 3am. What _was_ a surprise was the noise at his window. He frowned, sitting up and reaching for the bat he kept at his bedside.

“ _Jared_?” Connor asked, when his boyfriend’s head popped into the open window frame. He rolled across his bed and hurried to help him in. “It’s 3am, what are you- are you okay?”

Jared’s eyes were red and puffy. He stared down at his feet, trying to avoid eye contact.

“Hey,” Connor said softly - a tone of voice he only ever used with Jared. “Wait, are you in a _t-shirt_? It’s like 30 degrees out there! Come here.” He held his arms out, and Jared shuffled into them, shivering into the warmth that Connor always seemed to radiate.

Connor held tight, tucking Jared’s head under his chin and rubbing his arms to chase away the goosebumps. Jared shook in his arms, and Connor wasn’t sure if it was from being cold, or if he was crying again.

“Hey.” Connor pulled back, running a hand through Jared’s hair. “Talk to me. What’s up?”

“Dysphoria stuff,” Jared mumbled.

“Okay.” Connor nodded. “Let’s get you warm first, okay?” He grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a giant sweatshirt out of his dresser and handed them over. “Promise me you’ll take your binder off this time? You know you’re not supposed to sleep in it, you’ll feel better this way.”

Jared reluctantly nodded. “Just.. don’t look?”

Connor frowned. “You know I think you’re beautiful,” he reminded Jared, careful to use words that he knew wouldn’t make Jared uncomfortable. He turned around, though, and waited.

“Okay,” Jared said after a minute. Connor turned and held his arms out again. Jared hesitated this time, wrapping his arms around himself as if to hold himself together.

“I love YOU,” Connor reminded him, knowing immediately that his hesitation was because he’d taken his binder off. “Do you want to lay down? It’ll be warmer under the covers.”

Jared nodded, letting Connor crawl in first. He held the covers back and Jared crawled in next to him. The bed was already warm from Connor’s body heat. Jared hesitated before scooting as close to Connor as he could get, burying his face in Connor’s side. Connor wrapped an arm around his boyfriend, kissing the top of Jared’s head and rubbing circles into his back.

It took a few minutes before Jared stopped shivering.

“That’s better, right?” Connor asked softly. He felt Jared nod. “Do you want to talk about it?” A shake of the head. “Can I shower you with compliments and tell you how amazing you are, then?” A pause before he felt just the tiniest of nods. “Neutral or affirming?”

“Neutral.”

Connor nodded. “You’re smart, funny - hilarious actually. Killer at video games and helping me with illegal computer shit. I’ll never forget the look on Mr. Tyler’s face when you made his screen flash dirty words during that presentation.”

Jared snorted. “That _was_ pretty hilarious.”

“And the fact that we got caught and received one week’s detention didn’t make it any less funny. Bastard deserved it.”

Jared fell quiet, but nodded into Connor’s chest.

“And you’re the best snuggler in the world. I was having trouble sleeping, so this is great timing,” he added, shifting to kiss Jared’s forehead.

“Or the worst timing because you might have been at least a little bit sleepy before, and I fully woke you up,” Jared mumbled miserably, trying to pull away from Connor.

Connor tightened his grip, pulling Jared back in. “Nope, you’re not gonna do that. You’re not gonna make yourself feel bad for something you don’t have to feel bad for. I love snuggling you and you know my window is _always_ open. Literally, I never close it, just in case.”

This actually wasn’t the first time Jared had crawled through his window. The first time, Connor had closed the window because it was supposed to snow, and Jared had nearly fallen in his effort to open it with one hand and hold on to the windowsill with the other. Connor had learned his lesson quickly, and always kept it open now, rain or shine.

“I’m sorry.” Jared scooted back again, and Connor let him this time. He made eye contact with Connor for the first time since he’d come through the window.

“For _what_?”

“Being.. like this?”

“Oh.” Connor leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose. “You mean beautiful and snuggly and awesome? No need to apologize for those things.”

Jared couldn’t help the smile that finally worked its way onto his face. “Shut up. I’m not beautiful.”

“Affirming?”

Jared hesitated before nodding.

“You’re the hottest guy I’ve ever had the privilege of calling mine.”

Jared blushed. The voices in his head screamed at him, trying to tell him Connor was _just_ saying that, but didn’t actually mean it. Jared tried to shake the doubt away. He knew Connor would never _just_ say something to appease him, or say something he didn’t mean; he battled depression and anxiety, too. He knew how hard it was to turn the doubt and self-hate off, and Jared knew Connor would never say anything to intentionally make him feel that way.

They fell into a comfortable silence. The longer he let Connor hold him, the more comfortable he became. The thick sweatshirt helped, something Connor had known when he’d selected that particular sweatshirt for Jared to wear. His Dysphoria was still nipping at his brain, but he was having an easier time telling it to shut up.

“Connor?”

“Hm?” Connor sounded sleepy, which made Jared feel guilty.

“Nevermind”

“Mmm, nope, tell me or I’ll tickle you.”

“You wouldn’t dare...” Jared scolded.

Connor grinned, his face glowing in the beam of streetlights shining through his window. “Try me.”

Jared tried to squirm away, but Connor held tight, going right for Jared’s stomach, where he was most ticklish.

“Nooooo,” Jared whined, but he snickered as he twisted away. “You’re mean!”

“Tell me what you were gonna say or I’ll keep going,” Connor warned, shifting so he could tickle Jared with both hands.

Jared squealed, wrestling with Connor until they rolled and Connor ended up straddling him. He stared down at Jared, grinning, hair in his face, hands poised above him.

“Okay, okay!” Jared gasped, giggling breathlessly. “You win!”

Connor snorted, rolling off him and snuggling back into his side. Jared held his hand out, and Connor laced their fingers.

“I just... thank you.”

Connor waited, knowing there was more. He ran the fingers of his free hand up and down Jared’s arm.

“Thank you for always knowing what to say and for... for putting up with me.”

Connor snorted a laugh. “I put up with you because I love you, ya dork.”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Okay but you don’t have to. Put up with me or love me or any of that. And you do. And- and I appreciate you.”

“Well, I appreciate you, too. Cause you put up with my dumb ass, too,” Connor reminded him.

“Yes but I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you, so..”

“I strongly disagree. I don’t deserve you.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree, I guess,” Jared shrugged.

“Okay, but only because I really want you to shut up so I can kiss you.”

Jared rolled so that, this time, he was looking down at Connor. He leaned down, pressing his lips to Connor’s. Connor wrapped an arm around his back, pulling him closer, so Jared was lying on top of him. The fact that Jared let him do this meant he was feeling at least slightly better than he had before.

When they broke the kiss, they were both panting for air. Connor grinned up at Jared. “Hi.”

Jared snickered. “Hi.”

“How’s the view from up there?”

Jared frowned, tilting his head and quirking a brow. “Eh, okay, I guess.”

“Hey!” Connor grumbled, swatting his arm and pouting.

Jared snickered, shifting against Connor. Connor whimpered, eyes wide.

“Don’t do that unless you want to start something...” Connor warned, choking on his words when Jared did it again. Jared snickered. “You’re _really_ asking for it, Klein-“ Connor groaned when Jared shimmied a third time. He grabbed Jared’s hips, forcing him to sit still. “You must be feeling better if you’re doing _that_.”

Jared chewed on the inside of his cheek, shrugging. “Kinda. Also just like teasing you.”

Connor rolled his eyes. “Now who’s the mean one?”

Jared huffed a laugh, which Connor cut off with another kiss, his hands wandering up along Jared’s back, then down across his butt.

Jared pulled back. “I...”

Connor stilled his movements, glancing up at Jared questioningly.

“I know I, uh...” He cleared his throat. “I know I started this but... I actually... I’m not...”

Connor immediately pulled his hands back up so they rested on Jared’s back instead of his butt.

“I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten you worked up like that-“

“Shush,” Connor scolded. “You know the rules. Doesn’t matter how far we’ve gotten - if someone wants to stop, we _stop_. I’m not gonna die from having a hard-on.”

“How come you’re so amazing?”

“Cause I have you,” Connor shrugged, leaning in for another kiss.

Jared shifted off of Connor, curling into his side again. He threw an arm over Connor’s stomach, tangled their legs, and kissed Connor’s neck before burying his face in Connor’s shoulder.

“Get some sleep, okay?” Connor asked Jared. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Jared murmured, closing his eyes.

Sleep came easy this time. How could it not, when Jared was curled up next to the most amazing boyfriend anyone could ask for?

After a few minutes, Connor felt Jared relax. He let out soft little snores, and his warm breath tickled Connor’s neck. Connor turned, kissing the top of his head. Then he closed his eyes and fell into an easy, comfortable sleep, feeling safe and secure with his favorite person beside him.


End file.
